Ladies, Please Start Loving Yourself More

Loving Yourself More: Being a young black man, I know plenty of beautiful black women who are very confident in their appearance. At the same time, many tend to be just a bit self-conscious. To me, this is very puzzling. Why would a beautiful dark skin black woman with flawless skin and a gorgeous smile feel that she is not seen by women with lighter skin tones? Why does a woman who is a size 12, not overweight, but just kind of thick (in the right places), feel like she needs to lose weight and tone down her curves? Why is interracial dating such a sensitive topic for black women when it concerns black men going to different races?

I hear it all the time. A woman with a dark complexion complaining about men of her race only goes for women with light skin and straight hair. Then you have the beautiful big women saying that men only want skinny women. At the same time, the slim figured women complain that the media causes men only to like women with waistlines but unrealistic measurements regarding their breasts and rear-ends. You also have black women saying that black men all want white women, and white women who date black men say that black men are afraid to approach them because of what black women think. While these assumptions might be valid in some cases, I can’t help but think it is slightly absurd. Most people blame the media for making women have this mindset and making a specific type of woman seem famous and more beautiful, not because she looks better, but simply because she looks a certain way.

Women should ignore what the media say is beautiful but focus more on the features that make them beautiful and unique. For example, if you are a dark woman, you shouldn’t feel like you are missing out because light skin is in, but instead realize that even though you might not have naturally curly or straight hair, bright colored eyes, and fair complexion, you might still have those gorgeous eyes that just glimmer in the light, clear, beautiful skin that is soft and smooth and that flawless smile that lights up the room! So ladies, “love yourself because we sure do love you.” Know just how beautiful you are, and don’t focus on what the media says is beautiful but what you think is gorgeous.